An Ode To Changing Your Mind

In my line of work, themes emerge like clockwork. I often find myself chuckling that no matter the baby’s age, weight, temperament, or how involved the parents are, every single baby has That One Tough Night. Sometimes it’s early mornings across the board. Sometimes it’s feeding struggles. It's as if the universe is giving me a crash course—or a refresher—on the same lesson over and over again.

 

Lately, I’ve noticed a new theme cropping up in my discovery calls. I’m hearing from parents who swore up and down they’d never sleep train. Maybe they’d read something scary online, or they deeply identified with attachment or gentle parenting frameworks, or they simply couldn’t bear the thought of hearing their baby cry.

 

And yet, here they are—exhausted, at a breaking point, and… ready to talk about sleep training.

 

It got me thinking: this month’s newsletter isn’t about convincing anyone to sleep train. It’s not a gentle nudge, and it’s definitely not pressure. It’s about something deeper: changing your mind.

 

Not everyone needs to sleep train. Some babies sleep well enough, some parents cope just fine with the ups and downs of night parenting, and some families simply don’t feel the need to intervene. We all have different needs, limits, and definitions of “enough.” That’s normal. That’s human.

 

I just wish we talked about this more. I wish we talked about how our children impact each of us differently—and that our responses will vary based on who we are, not just who they are.

 

So, this is an ode to flexibility. To shifting. To evolving.

 

I think back to my very first big parenting pivot—labour. I went into it declaring I absolutely would not have an epidural. Not because I wanted a natural birth experience (kudos to those who do), but because I was terrified: of needles, of doctors, of interventions. But after five hours of Pitocin-induced contractions, I changed my mind. And it was one of the best decisions of my life.

 

It wouldn’t be the last.

 

When I returned to work early after having my first, I pumped during every break, during my commute, and again before bed. By the holidays, I had stockpiled enough milk to stop pumping and switch to just morning and bedtime feeds. But within a month, my supply dipped, my baby stopped sleeping, and we were all miserable. I changed my mind again—and added formula. Game changer.

 

And now, with older kids? The mind-changing continues. Screens or no screens? Sleepovers? Unsupervised outdoor play? There’s always something. The truth is, being a parent means constantly adjusting the sails as the wind changes.

 

And that’s the point. Changing your mind to serve your family’s well-being isn’t weakness—it’s strength.

 

Yes, I’m biased when it comes to sleep training—I know it can change lives. But sometimes, changing your mind might mean pausing sleep training. Or deciding to stop tracking every nap because it’s making you anxious. Or leaning into what works now, even if it looks different than you thought it would.

 

Being willing to adapt in service of your mental health, your capacity, and your connection with your child? That’s psychological flexibility. And we need more of it, not less.

 

So to the parents who DM me saying, “I really identify with attachment parenting—I’m not sure sleep training fits,” I want to say this:

 

This month, I’m inviting you to tune in. Be open. Be curious. Look at your child—and yourself—and ask: What do we need right now?

 

And then do that.

 

I’ll be here cheering you on, every step of the way.

 

Take Care,