So hereâs a blog I never thought Iâd be writing But after a lot of thought, a lot of conversations with many moms, and a lot of experience helping babies and families–this is a blog that I didnât need to write—GIRL I HAD TO WRITE IT.
Why? Why would a sleep consultant write a blog encouraging parents to NOT hire her? I havenât lost it (yet) or had a change in perspective (not on this anyway, I have had a change of heart in deciding to watch Vanderpump Rules). Rather my experience has led me to some insight about why, when and how babies and families do their best when they start the process of helping their families sleep. AND the why, when and how families donât end up achieving their goals. Sometimes waiting is the best thing you can do for yourself and for your baby.
Also, real quick–letâs discuss the term âsleep trainingâ. I hate the term. Doesnât it conjure up images of sad, screaming and crying babies in dark rooms? It did for me in my early days of parenting. Like…I want nothing to do with that image. Sleep training in the Amanda Jewson philosophy means, helping your child learn how to sleep. There are dark rooms, and there might be crying, but YOU CAN COMFORT YOUR CHILD. Heck, you can camp out there with them until they get it.
REASONS YOU SHOULDNâT SLEEP TRAIN
- YOU DONâT WANT TO. Girl, donât! It wonât work, and youâll find a way to sabotage the process (not on purpose, just subconsciously). So wait. It also means youâre not tired enough—wait until youâre tired enough. Also, a mom who is stressed to the maximum about this process shares that energy with her baby. If youâre not ok with this, neither is your baby. We all want less protest and quick long-lasting results. YOU need to be mentally ready for less crying and faster results.
- YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALL DOING IT. Would you walk off a bridge if your friends were doing it too? If it doesnât feel right to you then donât. See above for why.
- YOUR BABY IS STILL MINI, I get a lot of calls from parents between 6 and 8 weeks. And those parents are like âWHAT THE HELL DID I SIGN UP FOR??? MAKE THIS STOPâ And, it sucks but I canât do âsleep trainingâ with most babies until after 4 months of age. A lot of that is developmentally related. Newborns are small things that are going through âsleep regressionsâ every 2-3 weeks. Itâs pointless. You CAN however, look into my newborn sleep program: 4 weeks of unparalleled support AND you may avoid sleep training completely like I did! (Both of my girls managed 6-8 hour stretches by 6 weeks using these methods—so have countless clients!)
- THEREâS A HEALTH THING: If youâre not feeling comfortable about your baby sleeping through the night because they have a little health thing then letâs skip this whole thing until youâre ready and your doctor has approved.
- YOU HAVENâT TALKED TO YOUR DOCTOR YET: Doctors are always a great first stop before calling me. They can weigh your baby and help you assess where they are developmentally. Also, having a doctorâs seal of approval is nice to have in the back of your head if youâre feeling uncertain that your baby is ready
Ok. Now that weâve got that out of the way–it is worth mentioning all the reasons you should be calling me.
REASONS YOU SHOULD SLEEP TRAIN (Like call me right now)
- YOUâRE NEXT LEVEL TIRED: Â Â Weâre moms, and weâre tired. Iâm tired. Being a mom is tiring. But Iâm not talking about mom tired, Iâm talking about walking into furniture, fuzzy headed, screaming at your husband and then crying on your baby tired. Iâm talking the tired that makes you feel sick when you wake up, and terrified when you go to bed (because youâre wondering when your baby will wake next). Â This is not ok tired and itâs not safe or a âpart of motherhoodâ. This level of tired is not a badge of honour or proove how devoted you are to your child. Being tired, depressed and anxious actually has effects on your child and when YOUâRE ok, THEYâre ok. (But donât freak out about this–the brain is constantly rewiring itself. With healing and time you and your child can be back to awesome in no time)
- YOUâRE SICK ALL THE TIME: Â Sleeplessness means your body doesnât really have time to meet your viruses one-on-one and take them the eff DOWN. If you have a cold every other week and youâre not sleeping–itâs time to sleep. See this article for more of the science behind this.
- YOUâRE OBSESSING ABOUT SLEEP: If all you can think about is your childâs sleep, or your  sleep or a combination of the two—then itâs time to make a change. When thoughts about your childâs sleep, whether or not you leave the house, see your friends or live life become overwhelming, it means weâre entering the danger zone. Seek help.
- ITâS SAFE: The most common question from potential clients? âWill do this harm my baby?â Sleep training has been studied, studied again, had those results re-analyzed, and those results studying again. Will you find some studies suggesting otherwise? Yes. But there are also a few studies that also suggest climate change isnât man-made. Over all the scientific community is in agreement about sleep training so you can rest assured that your baby will be fine and your bond will be stronger than ever when youâre rested enough to experience it.
- YOUâRE CRYING ALL THE TIME: Baby blues are pretty normal after baby. And it makes sense–for every new child thereâs a whole new life! Literally and figuratively. A baby changes things and blues can come in times of change and uncertainty (also RAGING new mama hormones–those too. Remind me to tell you about when I sobbed for melting my breast pump tubes and begged my husband never to tell anyone. That…happened) BUT sleeplessness was cited as a contributing factor to both postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety in this recent study. Iâm not suggesting that sleep with cure your PPD/PPA but it’s a damn good start on your path to recovery.
ARE YOU READY? If youâve read above and you feel like youâre ready–itâs time. Thereâs no good/best/optimal time to start helping your child sleep. There will always be leaps, teething and trips. But if youâre excited to sleep and ready to start I can help you. Book a call with me here.
If not, go ahead and bookmark this page for reference whenever you have questions or a little reassurance. It will always be here. â¤ď¸
