Speaker 1: (00:00)
You’re listening to the slumber party podcast with your host, Amanda Jewson a mom of two girls, a child and infant sleep expert and general sleep lover. If you’re a tired parent who is desperate for answers or just someone who loves sleep, this podcast was created just for you. Each episode is packed full of tips and tricks to help you maintain your sanity as well as your social life during the early stages of Parenthood. So grab your headphones. It’s time to get comfy.
Speaker 2: (00:36)
Okay. Welcome everybody to the slumber party podcast. I am your host, Amanda Jewson. And uh, if you are watching this on YouTube welcome, um, I am doing my first ever live call-in episode, and this is where, uh, people call in and I’m going to answer their questions live. Um, we have Christine who’s called in right away. We’re going to jump into our call, but I’m just going to give you a little breakdown and have this is going to work today. So I’m going to accept the calls as they come in. Uh, there may be a video component. There may not be it’s the first time I’m doing this. I’m sure there is a possibility for you to turn off your screen or I won’t publish your part of the video, uh, live on the YouTube. That’s fine. Uh, we’re going to talk this out. I have no idea about what my, uh, people are going to ask.
Speaker 2: (01:25)
Uh, generally, I mean, they’re asking me right now, I haven’t prepared for this and we’re going to have a great conversation. Um, I hope we are anyway. So here we go. Sorry, I guess it doesn’t give you the function to turn off your camera, um, and leave the microphone off. I’m so sorry that someone, no problem on your behalf. Um, I wish I had known that, but that’s okay. We don’t have to, we don’t have to publish your side. We can just publish me talking and we can keep your, your beautiful coloring out of there.
Speaker 2: (02:00)
It does look really nice though. And my four year old is laying beside, he likes, she always does at this time, right? Yes. Uh, me. Okay, so this is bedtime. This is probably what we’re going to talk about tonight, I guess. Yes. So give it to me. She’s saying yes. And just so I know this is the first time I’ve done this. Um, Nicole, so, uh, please let me know if there’s any problem with the sound on your end, but so far, does it sound okay? Yeah, that sounds perfect. Okay, great. All right, go ahead. Let me have her. Okay. So my daughter is four and she does not, um, go to sleep by herself. I have to lay in the bed until she falls asleep, right? Yeah. Okay. Can, can she hear me right now? She can. Okay. That, but yeah,
Speaker 3: (03:01)
I guess it’s okay. I,
Speaker 2: (03:05)
I would just, it’s totally. Okay. I’m totally happy to answer this question with her here. It just might sort of change the wording I may use.
Speaker 3: (03:13)
Perfect. And you can say bell because she can’t because she can’t spell when’s
Speaker 2: (03:18)
Her birthday. I also have a four year old.
Speaker 3: (03:21)
Her birthday is March 31st. Are you,
Speaker 2: (03:25)
Are you going into JK soon?
Speaker 3: (03:29)
Yes. Oh my, are you excited? Yes.
Speaker 2: (03:33)
Oh my gosh. I, well, I’m excited for you. My little girl’s going to J K and she’s also very, very, very excited. So I understand.
Speaker 3: (03:41)
Okay. So, um, now
Speaker 2: (03:44)
When we are putting, uh, your daughter to bed, um, what will happen if you leave the room typically?
Speaker 3: (03:52)
Um, yeah, she will, she will just be upset, cry, come out of the bed and won’t stand. Okay.
Speaker 2: (03:57)
So this is it. And you know, this is what I like to call it. Like, you know, by the way, when I answer these questions, if you and I were just talking in real life, it wouldn’t be this drawn out. But for the sake of the podcast, I like to like really break it down. So you’ll have to bear with me. Okay. So when, when we’re talking about, um, sleep associations with children, with babies, it’s really easy to figure out what that is, right. It’s usually like rocking padding, shushing, feeding. We can think of all of the physical things that we’re doing. Now. Something happens along the way now, did, did your daughter ever sleep on her own or is this sort of been kind of what, how things have been happening?
Speaker 3: (04:38)
You know what, probably for about six months, between two and two and a half, she did. And then after she did not, no. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2: (04:47)
Okay. So then, you know, in that case, you can think about, uh, what, what things that you’re doing to help her sleep. And then as kids get older, um, parents start to lose the fact or, or lose sight of what could be the sleep association, right? Like, well, I’m not patting or shooshing all they need is for me to sit with them. And this can actually happen a lot with babies who are quote, unquote, sleep, trained, notice asleep on their own, and then suddenly they can walk and talk and they say, you know, can you just sit with me until I fall asleep? And that is such an easy thing to do. Right. Okay, no problem. I’ll just lay with you until you fall asleep on the surface for most parents is going to be a not big deal. And honestly, I think I just also want to let you know, so many people do wait.
Speaker 2: (05:34)
You do. Um, just because they like it. And so I, I honor that, um, if you’re wanting to change it, what we have to understand is that you’re now a part of your daughter’s sleep dance. So asleep dance is, is, are the things that you do before you go to bed, which is kind of like wiggle and squirm and do all of those things. And we, when your child is going to bed, you’re part of their wiggle and squirming. So they’re not being mean or misbehaving. They’re legitimately saying like, look, I need a certain thing. Like I touch your skin or I roll in you’re next to me. And these are the things that I need to fall asleep. And so until we want that to stop, um, it’s just kind of one of those things that you do have to stop right now, when you do just stop it, we don’t just say, okay, bye, good luck.
Speaker 2: (06:24)
You know, um, there’s a slow and steady approach that you can take to do that. Now, obviously when you’re, you’re removing yourself from that situation, your daughter’s probably gonna have some really big feelings about you moving because it’s, it’s a stressful situation for her to, to pick up those behaviors again. Okay. What do I do? Do I need to squiggle? Do I need to squirm? Do I need to like move on my side or my back? How do I even like to sleep now? A quick question for you. Does she get up in the middle of the night? Try to find you.
Speaker 3: (06:59)
Yeah, so that’s, that’s what I was gonna just say next. I, you know, me laying down with her at the beginning causes an issue. Cause she wakes up in the middle of night. I’m not there cause she thinks I’m sleeping with her all night. And then I end up, she calls me and then I ended up sleeping in her bed for the rest of the night. So it’s a vicious cycle.
Speaker 2: (07:19)
Yeah. Well that’s actually what I was going to say that usually parents who are laying with the child when they go to bed, tend to have several night wakings after. Cause that’s not usually the end of it. So when they go to bed and when they wake up in the middle of the night, like we all do in order to fall back to sleep, they need their sleep dance. And that is you. Yeah. So in order for everyone to have a better sleep, she, she legitimately requires your presence at this time. So if, if you wanted to, um, remove that, unfortunately like these are those like big, huge, giant questions that I can’t be like, this is, this is what you’re going to do. This is the plan because this is going to be, um, especially for a four-year-old plus. Um, and, and by the way, this is usually the time I hear this is around four plus when parents are like, Oh, okay, I think I’m done.
Speaker 2: (08:10)
Um, it’s it needs to be a slow and steady approach over, you know, several days ever removing you and building herself esteem and building her confidence and having a chat with her. So I do recommend, you know, either working with a consultant, talking with your doctor, finding a program, um, talking to, you know, uh, a mental health professional, not just because this is a mental health issue, but because they probably have issues with, you know, separation and children and they could probably guide you along those, that pathway. Um, but yeah, you want to do it in a way that that sets boundaries for you. You know, this is my boundary. I love you. This is something I I’m not able to do right now because it’s, it’s affecting me in, in my overnight. But it doesn’t. I think that when people think of this, um, this thing we think of it being like very tough and very upsetting, but when we do it, right, it’s usually a really nice bonding experience between mum and child, as we move into the next phase, I likened it to potty training sometimes, you know, when you’re like, literally right next to your child being like, are you going to be, are you going to be, Oh my God, you did it.
Speaker 2: (09:22)
You pee, you bead. And so it’s kind of, it’s kind of like that. So it doesn’t have to be, it doesn’t have to be horrible. Okay. I promise. So yeah, if you wanted to Nicole, I mean, if you did want to work with a consultant, you can give us a call at any time and I can kind of talk you through more specifics there, uh, to get some more specifics about your situation or, or book a chat with your doctor to talk about a really gentle way to, to remove her, um, from the bed. But it, it can be a really nice experience for everyone. Okay, great. Thank you. Ma’am no problem. Thank you for calling in Nicole. Okay. Good night. All right. We have Samantha up next. Hold on. Uh, except Okay. People are saying hi.
Speaker 4: (10:26)
Speaker 2: (10:29)
All right. We’re just waiting for Samantha to load anyone else. If you have a question, just go ahead and, and to request your question and we’ll make sure that you are in the podcast. See you lots of you here. Thanks for coming by the way, guys, what an experiment. I just figured out that this was a function, um, in my new recording software. And as like I have to use this, this is amazing. Okay. We’re having trouble connecting. It seems Christina and Samantha, are you still here?
Speaker 4: (11:14)
Are we here?
Speaker 2: (11:20)
Okay. So someone said, yes, I’ve accepted your call. Can you try requesting it again to see if it goes through again, really fine, YouTube slash podcast content, you know, while we’re waiting for our, our guests to, to retry. Um, one of the things that, you know, I like to talk about with, with toddlers and preschoolers, is that bed sharing it? Can I, you know, I really want to be clear that I judge that. Um, and you know, parents choose to share, um, frequently. Um, they th that’s a choice that they are wanting to make. And I think that as long as it works for all parties, there’s no need to change it unless you want to. Okay. Look, it looks like Samantha is with us and she’s hiding her camera and that is fine. Samantha. You not have to show your camera. Thank you so much for joining us. I can hear you. Can you hear me?
Speaker 4: (12:27)
Speaker 2: (12:28)
Samantha, are you there?
Speaker 4: (12:36)
Oh, we’re so close. Samantha.
Speaker 2: (12:41)
Hello? Can you hear me?
Speaker 4: (12:48)
Speaker 2: (12:56)
Oh, we’re so close. Okay, Samantha, I don’t think you can hear me. So I’m going to remove you. We’ll try one more time. Oh, hello, Samantha. I think that you have to have your, your screen on, in order for me to hear you, but you can just have your screen facing down. Nope. And we’re gone. Okay.
Speaker 4: (13:22)
Speaker 2: (13:25)
All right. Anyone, if anyone else has any other questions, Christine or Samantha, I’d love to chat with you. All right. Okay. Samantha is going to try one more time. Here we go. We’re going to edit this out.
Speaker 4: (13:52)
Speaker 2: (13:54)
Samantha. Can you hear me?
Speaker 5: (13:58)
I can hear you. Can you hear me?
Speaker 2: (14:00)
I can hear you. Hello. We made it happen.
Speaker 4: (14:07)
Speaker 2: (14:08)
Tell me what’s happening. Thank you for doing this by the way. You’re very brave.
Speaker 5: (14:15)
No, thank you. Um, so basically, well, I have a two year old and I, I did this deep training on my own and it went really well. Um, and now I have a seven, almost seven months old. She’s currently in our room. Um, I put a sheet up to block her because you know, that head pops up in the eyes lock and she’s yeah,
Speaker 2: (14:37)
It’s over. Yup.
Speaker 5: (14:40)
It’s over. Um, so we’re going to be moving in a month and the girls will actually be sharing a room then. So I wanted to kind of get her ready for that. Tried steep, trading her without a pacifier, without anything. Um, having her, you know, cry a little bit and going comforter every 12 minutes. Um, it’s the middle of the night. Like she would go over an hour, an hour and a half, two hours and she wants to play and she wants to just be with us. And she she’s okay for her naps, but it’s just that through that night. Okay. So what age maybe wait. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: (15:23)
Well, what, what age did you start to sleep? Train that?
Speaker 5: (15:30)
Um, just maybe about not even three weeks ago, I tried three weeks ago. She doesn’t really need to eat through the night. I do still do a feeling like I don’t mind doing a feeding and putting her back down because they did that for a little bit with the other one too, but she just, she just wants to play like she’s she wants to be rocked and walked and then she’s making noises and she’s up at six in the morning. Happy still.
Speaker 2: (15:57)
Okay. So, um, so is she, she’s just eating the ones at night, is that right?
Speaker 5: (16:05)
No, not now. Um, she I’ve had good nights where she’s been twice, but, um, I mean, she can eat all through the night. Like she just wants to be with me. I don’t know if she actually smelled me. I don’t know if I should be leaving the room to do this. Maybe I can feed Bell’s like on the couch for a week. I don’t know what to do. Yeah.
Speaker 2: (16:25)
You know what I think that it would pro so when, when room sharing, I obviously, um, room sharing is recommended for quite some time with, with, um, uh, babies. And, and I think I should know this, I think is anywhere from six months to 12 months. And depending on what doctor you’re going to talk to, it’s going to change. So room sharing and sleep training can totally happen. But what is probably happening is that she is room sharing. She does smell you, you are breastfeeding, she is going to see you and she’s going to want to interact with you, played with you. Um, there’s a couple of options that you can actually do. So, number one, like you said, sometimes I have parents kind of sleeping on a couch for a few nights while they do the work and sort of let their child figure things out independently. Cause it’s seven months. Is she eating? Okay, she eating well, how are her solids?
Speaker 5: (17:24)
Yeah, I have her now three times a day. I thought maybe she was hungry and you know, that’s why she was waking a lot. Um, I mean she feeds pretty well. I’d even given her a bottle once a day to just to make sure I can see that she’s getting enough, but in terms of her weight, like she’s where she needs to be. There’s no issue with that. She’s actually bigger than my first one was. Um, so she doesn’t, according to the doctors doesn’t need to eat through the night. Okay. Um, okay. Um, and so, I mean, I don’t mind,
Speaker 2: (17:58)
You know what it’s sometimes, so it’s not, well, I was just wondering about the food because sometimes what can happen is that babies reverse cycles. So that means they put the majority of their milk calories at night and then their bodies start to need those calories or want those calories at night because that’s where the majority of the calories are coming from. So then you become, you’re eating, you get inside this pickle. We’re like, Oh, how do I stop it? Um, you’re essentially, you know, I encourage you like feed lots and lots and lots and lots and lots during the day. And obviously you want to talk to your doctor about night, meaning I have a whole podcast about eating and why don’t advise a voted, uh, publicly. So definitely talk to your doctor. Yeah, I do because Nate weaning is known so easy. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: (18:51)
But why I say like, if solids are good and she’s a good feeder overall, then she can probably with the advice of your doctor, get those calories during the day time. So that’s not that that’s now not a worry. Um, the other things that you’re out of the room, you have your program, give it a good week. Um, but know that if she’s been room sharing for a little while, it’s gonna take a little bit of time for her to kind of get past the fact that she’s no longer room sharing with, with mom for those few days, have a plan of action, you know, when she has some big feelings about that as well. Um, okay. So then the other thing is how, how does she fall asleep for nap time during the day?
Speaker 5: (19:36)
Um, so when I was, uh, she used to use the pacifier, um, and like, I mean she would fall asleep instant with it. She wants to sleep. She’s probably tired during the day too. I’m trying to cap the three hours, um, in total, right? Like two and a half to three hours. Um, this way it doesn’t interfere with that night’s sleep. But when I had her, uh, when I tried nibble three weeks ago, I took the pacifier away. I wanted to her wanted her to fall asleep without anything. Right. Just the sound machine in the sleep sack. And I do my whole routine. Um, I’m in the first one, got it within like three or four days. Right. So that’s, I was like, okay. So, uh, actually it was reading, uh, listening to one of your podcasts and it was, I think, a reset. So I was like, okay, let me just try to, you know, reset it kind of thing, because it’s more in the middle of the night that I’m having the issue not to fall asleep initially, I guess. Um, so I don’t know. Yeah.
Speaker 2: (20:35)
Well, and, and so that’s, that’s a good question. So one of the things that comes up a lot with parents is like you said it a couple of times here is like, look, I don’t mind the one feed in the middle of the night, but we have to think about that. You know, for some babies, that’s going to be no problem. That one feed is no problem and they can do it and it doesn’t confuse them and all as well. And, and it, it sounds like that was the case with your first child, right? So the, the issue with some babies is that if they are fed sometimes, and not every time they wake up overnight, they don’t understand why they can’t eat all night when they can eat that one night. So then they don’t want to go to bed until that thing happens. Right. They’re waiting you out to have it. So there are some scenarios. And I think I talked about this in my night leading podcast, where it makes sense to remove the feed in order for this leap to happen. And generally when babies are that aware, alert and like onboard, it’s really not about hunger. It’s more of a preference. Again, this is not a diagnosis, a hundred percent. Please go talk to your doctor brand.
Speaker 6: (21:47)
Aye, aye, aye, aye.
Speaker 2: (21:49)
Double check that the feed isn’t confusing her. And then, then she might just want to be up to play. You know what I mean? Um, so I would, I would do a really good, yeah. Do you want an audit of your whole night do an audit of your whole day? What you need to do during that audit is ask yourself, is there anything that I am doing within 20 minutes of my child falling asleep that is calming lulling, pacifying, doing anything that could be in any way, helping that child to sleep? If your answer is yes, you got to move it or it’s not like we stop feeding our kids. We just give them like a good 20 minute gap. It’s not that we stop cuddling our kids. We just don’t do it within 20 minutes. You know what I mean? So do an audit of before bed of the four, and we’re talking like for feedings to 20 minutes from the end of the feed, breast or bottle to the start of asleep, Kate, you can feed that baby, whenever you want 20 minutes, like 20,000 times a day, whenever you want, you just want to make sure there’s a nice alert gap.
Speaker 2: (23:08)
So when you are putting her to sleep, she’s aware, she’s alert. She’s looking at you. She’s not at all drowsy, drowsy, but awake is a lie. It’s not a lie. It’s a, it’s a good strategy for younger babies. Okay. Older babies drowsy is a stage of sleep. You know what I mean? It’s when you’re on the couch and you’re kind of like, Oh, okay. Yeah. There’s Netflix in that time where eyes are kind of flickering, you are, you were in a stage of sleep. If your baby needs you to get into there, every they’re going to wake frequently overnight.
Speaker 5: (23:48)
Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. As you’re seeing that, that makes sense.
Speaker 2: (23:56)
I want to be clear. I’m not like, this is just what I do for a living. And then I also have like another consultant that I talked to about my kids’ sleep problems. Cause when it’s your child, no one is that, that centered, you know, like of course this is what my child is doing. It’s like your child’s right. Yeah. I love it. That’s amazing.
Speaker 5: (24:20)
I mean like then they’re going to be sharing a room, right. So, I mean the older one is, is I don’t think she’s going to be the issue. I mean, I think she sleeps, right. She seeks now all night. Like, no problem. That’s why I was like, okay, let me get this one. Maybe. I mean, um, I guess it would be an adjustments to when we move in, but
Speaker 2: (24:40)
Yeah. Yeah. I
Speaker 5: (24:42)
Guess one question I would just have, do,
Speaker 2: (24:47)
Go ahead. Sorry. There’s a little bit of a delay.
Speaker 5: (24:51)
Sorry. Yeah. Just one question would be, I guess like the, see the first night we move in, do both of them just go into that room and have, you know, comfort, I guess who needs to be, or do I do one first and then the other, I mean, I don’t know how to tackle that.
Speaker 2: (25:08)
When do you move exactly
Speaker 5: (25:12)
In four weeks? Over four weeks.
Speaker 2: (25:15)
So what I would do is I would say before you do any room sharing, both kids need to be sleeping on their own independently. So it sounds like your oldest is I would get on the sleep training for your second. Now give her two weeks of sleeping. Well, okay. Is there a possibility for them to be room sharing at your current house?
Speaker 5: (25:44)
Um, yes. There is with some adjustments, but yes.
Speaker 2: (25:49)
So maybe what I would do is take the two weeks to help your youngest learning how to sleep when she’s sleeping, take another two weeks and maybe do a little practice, run of them, room sharing, and then you can move them in together at the new house. Or I would say, if you don’t want to do that, then you, you help your second learn how to sleep. First, you move into the new house, you get everyone settled, give it a week and then you can try, um, those would be my options for you. I wouldn’t just, I wouldn’t both move into a new house and move the baby into the same room together. I would either do it before you leave or do it a bit a week after you’re settled and impact.
Speaker 5: (26:34)
Okay. Okay, perfect. Thank you. No problems. Awesome.
Speaker 2: (26:41)
Well, good luck in this, in your part too.
Speaker 5: (26:48)
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: (26:50)
No problem. Send me a message on, on Instagram. Let me know how it goes.
Speaker 5: (26:56)
Okay. For sure. I absolutely will. Thank you for taking the time to do this as well.
Speaker 2: (27:02)
No problem. Thanks so much, Samantha.
Speaker 5: (27:05)
Bye. Thank you. Take care. Bye.
Speaker 2: (27:11)
All right, so that was Samantha. Now there are. Okay. Wow. Lots of questions. So guys, I see your questions here. Um, if anyone would like to get on a live call, go ahead and request. I’d love to chat with you. You do not have to show your face. Um, okay. Um, all, go ahead and answer these. All right. So someone says, what do you think about the approach to sleep lady shuffle? Uh, I think that’s a great approach. It seems really gentle. Um, it’s always, you know, when people ask me about approaches and methodologies, um, you may be disappointed to know that I don’t really have strong feelings about many of them, as long as they are clear for the child. Um, really the, so the, the methodology that you should, you choose should feel really good and comfortable to you. I can tell you to the cows come home.
Speaker 2: (28:02)
This is the best one. This is the best one, but unless it feels right to you, if it feels good to you, you’re not going to do what I say and you’re going to self-sabotage. So the sleep lady shuffle feels like it’s good to, that’s a methodology by Kim West who is another asleep expert of the States. Um, and then go ahead and use it and I support you. Okay. All right. Next question here says my baby just started her four month sleep regression last week, fun times, she’s able to sell students. Mostly. Usually you need to rub her chest and shusher once or twice around 3:00 AM, 4:00 AM. And then she settles down. However, after midnight, she really struggles with getting to sleep squirming kicking, although not screaming or crying. My heart is breaking for the lack of sleep she’s getting. Is there any reason why it gets worse?
Speaker 2: (28:51)
Okay. Yes. Why does it get worse after midnight? So this is a great question. So number one, your, your heart does not have to break for your baby. If she is doing a really normal thing, this is some biology stuff that you’re witnessing and you’re having some feelings about that you don’t really need to feel bad about. Okay. This is just her learning to sleep. And you said here that she’s in a four month sleep regression, you know, the four month sleep regression is essentially a giant piece of learning. Okay? Your child, your child’s brain is essentially on fire. And every time they go through any sort of development, it is going to be, um, it’s going to be challenging for your child. Okay? So I want you to imagine like learning the most complex tasks or reading a book of like very hard math problems and then going to sleep, it’s going to be hard for you to go to sleep.
Speaker 2: (29:51)
That’s essentially what’s happening with your child. Okay. And so that’s part one there really restless score me. Sounds like she’s not uncomfortable. She’s not crying. She just kind of restless and that’s really normal during developmental periods. Okay. Babies are very big movers and shakers. Um, I wouldn’t watch the monitor. Uh, if you’re sleeping and you don’t hear her and she seems, okay, check it once or twice and put it away. Cause that can also cause some anxiety for you that’s that you just don’t need. Um, so, you know, sorry, I’m like going through a story in my head. I always tell my clients that to pretend you’re an eighties parent, okay. Attend your child’s when you can hear them. And when they seem upset, I feel like, and I, I was guilty of this. So I can say this without being judgy. Um, you know, when my children were little, I would watch everything that they did on the monitor and being awake from time to time, squirming, fidgeting, that’s all really normal baby things, but babies are programmed to not be passive aggressive.
Speaker 2: (30:57)
They are aggressive, aggressive. If they need you, they make sounds. They called you, they cry, they squawk. And I would go to her okay. In those conditions. But as she just seems like a little bit unsettled, I think she’s probably okay. So then the part, two of your question is why is this so hard after midnight? And that’s largely in part due to melatonin production. So around us, around now for me anyway, not sure when you guys are watching this or listening, um, I start to produce melatonin. It’s gonna make me feel tired and, and, and want to go to sleep. Okay. Now it peaks the most amount of melatonin you’re going to have is around 3:00 AM. Okay. After 3:00 AM, your melatonin starts to go down, down, down, down, down, down when your melatonin goes down, your cortisol and adrenaline pipes up and says, great, we’re ready to start the day. Guys, wake up hormones, come on in. And then they start to come up. So what you’re probably seeing is that, you know, I’m assuming it’s not like right at midnight, it might be at like 3:00 AM. Um, it’s it’s around like that time where her melatonin is dropping off and our awake hormones are starting to show up. So you’re just seeing some biology and action. And I imagine that waking is actually the hardest waking for you to have, because your hormones are doing the exact same thing.
Speaker 4: (32:20)
Okay. So there’s
Speaker 2: (32:22)
Your question. I hope that was helpful. Thank you.
Speaker 2: (32:27)
Okay. I have another question here. Okay. She says that makes so much sense. Thank you. I, I hope so. Um, okay. My baby is nine and a half weeks. He has strong sleep association. He needs be latched in the brush to go to sleep. And when he wakes up during an app or at night, he needs to be less, again, to fall back to sleep. This has been happening since three weeks old. Um, he won’t be sued to sleep in any other way. Okay. So I would say that, you know, nine and a half weeks is a really young baby. This is a newborn baby. And a lot of newborn babies are, have a really hard time sleeping on their own. There’s a lot of work that we can do to help them learn how to sleep on their own, but really they call it the fourth trimester because that baby still wants to be in your body.
Speaker 2: (33:13)
Okay. They still need a lot of comfort in closeness. Now, if you’re doing these drugs, it sounds, you say I’m doing, um, drugs even awake. Uh, but you put him down. He burst out crying every time. It sounds like you’re doing a lot of the work, uh, already. Um, uh, I would say all you can do with newborns is keep trying. I actually have another podcast episode, all about newborns that may be really helpful to you that I would take a look at as well. Uh, just because, uh, a lot of parents feel like failures during this time. Like there’s something that they’re doing wrong. Like all babies need to be sleeping independently. Sure. I guess they don’t need to be. Um, but if you would like them to be, it is a really normal time for them not to be sleeping through the night and is a really normal time for them to need a lot of comfort to sleep.
Speaker 2: (34:04)
Um, you know, my best piece of advice for you, it would be to put your baby down when they are alert and aware and having a good day. That’s when you’re going to put them down awake. Okay. Um, don’t try to put them down before that. Um, or, or when they’re having a bad day, cause it’s probably not going to work and then keep trying to put him down when he’s alert and aware. Okay. Um, and you might get lucky, but basically that’s what I did with both my girls. Every hour, I would rough them up like a little burrito and put them down when they were happy and they eventually learn how to fall asleep. Don’t try to actively put them down unless they’re ready to. My girls didn’t seem to be bothered by it. So I let it happen. If yours are, they’re just not ready to do that work yet.
Speaker 2: (34:51)
After four months, if you’re really experiencing very similar things, you can give me a call. You can call one of my team members. You can talk to your pediatrician and, but maybe reducing that sleep association. And I would say after four months is a great time to get started on that. I hope that helps. Okay. Someone says, speaking about drowsy, but awake. You said that you said only use drowsy, but awake for younger babies. When should that stop being the protocol? When should you switch fully to awake without putting them down? I would say around that four month time. So our last question said, you know, um, let’s talk about, uh, the four-month regression. Um, well the four month regression is the first time your child remembers how they fell asleep. So around four months, I would start transitioning your baby to more independently because they’re at a time where they remember how they felt fall, have fallen asleep. Doesn’t mean removing night feedings at that age, generally kids between four and six months still need to be eating at night. Um, not all but a lot do. And um, yeah, so I would, I would try to get them down awake, awake around starting and around
Speaker 4: (36:05)
Speaker 2: (36:07)
Okay. Um, okay. My daughter is seven months and won’t nap for more than 30 minutes help her wake windows are two and a half and three hours. I need a lot more digging anonymous. If you want to jump in on the call, I can ask you some questions. It’s hard for me to answer that because there’s so many variables. Um, I’ll see if you come in on my incoming call line and I can try to answer these questions for you, but for now, I’m not exactly sure. I’m going to come back to this question though. Hoping you come and join me live. All right. I have another question here on the four-month regression. Should I continue? Naps is previous or try to give her more naps to make up the deficit. I would, you know, there is a school of thought that for younger babies, they can’t nap. So you should just help them to nap on their own. I think it’s always worth allowing your baby to try to fall asleep on their own. Um, I would, I would try to do what you’re doing at night during the day as well. Um, don’t worry about this deficit. If she’s just kind of awaken in and out of sleep, she’s doing the work. You don’t need to be actively making up her deficit for her, especially if she’s quiet, calm, not crying and just kind of squirming. She’s probably getting some sleep is just resting.
Speaker 4: (37:25)
Speaker 2: (37:29)
All right. My seven month old nap friend, isn’t back or isn’t talking to me alive and that’s okay. So what I would say is without knowing more, I would actually take a look at my nap masterclass. That’s something that you could go to on my website. It’s $29. Um, I go through all of the reasons why your child may not be napping first and foremost, you obviously want to make sure that your child is falling asleep independently. Children who don’t sleep independently will very unlikely sleep past 30 minutes because a 30 minute nap is just one sleep cycle. Along nap is actually two sleep cycles. In order to connect to sleep cycle, you need to know how to fall asleep in the first place. So if you’re helping your child sleep still, it’s time to pull away from that. First, if you’re saying Amanda, I do no help to sleep at all. I don’t know what this is. Then I would go and check up the nap masterclass for parties
Speaker 4: (38:26)
Speaker 2: (38:29)
All right guys. Well, we did well, we talked for about 40 minutes. This is wonderful. I’m to do this again. If you liked what you heard, uh, keep your eye open on my Instagram, uh, for everything. I post everything there. First guys, I’m basically on there all day, all night. Um, well, not all night because I sleep I’m asleep consultant. Um, yes. Ooh, we got one more. Sinky question. My two and a half year old moves around 360 degrees all night. I’m not rushing him into a toddler bed, but I’m worried about him. Outgrowing sleep sacks, and needing to use a blanket. His room gets really cold in the winter. At what age do kids start sleeping more in one position? Huh? Never. My, my girls are six and four and I walk in and they’re halfway across the bed. Look, you know what? They are great.
Speaker 2: (39:20)
Regulators they’ll wake up cold. They’ll put themselves, um, she’s like, sorry. She, uh, the, the question Virginia said, I was worried. You would say that, but here’s the good news for you. My daughter will wake up, find that she’s in a weird position, put her blanket back on and go to bed. Um, and you can do that too. You don’t need to worry, uh, kids by the time they’re in bed, uh, are, are pretty good at putting on their blankets. For the most part, you may have to teach them how, um, I would actually keep your child in their group for as long as possible. Don’t rush them out. You’re going to have a walking, talking alarm clock, um, and you might have to be your, their personal, personal chauffer to, um, putting on blankets. And let me tell you that is no fun. Okay?
Speaker 2: (40:10)
Okay. Now this is really my goodbye for now. Uh, if you on, uh, if you are on YouTube, subscribe, like leave a comment. If you have any other questions, you’d like me to hit in the podcast. If you are listening in the podcast, please send me a note. Tell me that you’re listening. Follow me on Instagram at baby’s best sleep and find any one of my team members, uh, using my site. They are a great source of information as well. We have Andrea, we have Emma and we have Karen and they are amazing. Um, thank you so much. You can find them at, uh, at BBS underscore Andrea, Karen, or Emma on Instagram. They are amazing. Okay. Now I’m just babbling. Have a great night, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me today. Bye
Speaker 1: (41:08)