Join your resident sleep queen Amanda Jewson as she speaks with Lindsay Mundy about her experience travelling Europe with a small baby all the while maintaining their sanity through proper sleep!
http://www.lindsaymundy.ca/blog/traveling-with-a-baby-the-gear-essentials
Okay. Well welcome everyone to another edition of slumber party. I am really excited because I am legitimately in my pyjamas doing this podcast tonight with our guest, Lindsay Mundy, say hi Lindsay!
Lindsay
Hi. Thanks for having me.
Amanda
No, thank you for being on.
Lindsay
And I’m in my pyjamas!
Amanda
Are you also in your pyjamas?
Lindsay
Absolutely, it is an honest to goodness slumber party.
Amanda
Okay. Cause this is what I wanted to say, that Lindsay and I were sort of debating whether or not to meet in person and then we were like heck no. And Technology came to the rescue and now we can legitimately be in our pyjamas. No one has to get in a car. You can literally turn on your show after. So good, I think this works for everybody.
Lindsay
It’s the perfect setup.
Yeah. And you don’t even have to be in pants.
You dont!
If you had to meet in person you would have to be in pants.
01:04
It’s true but tonight, pants are optional.
Yay. They’re always pants optional at Amanda’s Slumber Party.
Amanda
And if you”re postpartum, they’re probably not on at this point anyway.
Lindsay
Exactly.
So Lindsay has an awesome story and, um, we share, well my friend Kim and your sister in law, I used to work with Kim, um, when I was teaching and Kim always used to come to me as soon as they started my business. It’s like, oh my God, do you need to talk to my brother and my sister in law because they’re so into sleep and they’ve done this amazing trip. And it just kept coming up and coming up. And then we finally connected and I was like, you have to come on and share all of your things and I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. So I’m going to let you tell the story. But, um, I wanted Lindsay on because she’s such a perfect example of how to travel, how to make it work, how to rebound and just enjoy yourself, with your kid when thats sort of my goal for my clients. So Lindsay, take us, take it away. Tell us what you did. It’s so awesome.
Sure. Well, I think, I think the important thing to start with is, um, before I had my daughter Ayla, she’s, she’s my first born. Um, I was really interested in learning a lot about baby sleep because mostly I think it was likely rooted in anxiety, and wanting to try to control something that is nearly impossible to control. But that’s kind of where this all started was I learned a lot about baby sleep. I read everything that I could get my hands on. Um, and I worked really hard to, you know, since Ayla was, uh, you know, from a young age, tried to get her on a sleep schedule just through trying to instill really positive sleep habits in her. And, uh, although that was, you know, as I said, kind of rooted in anxiety a little bit, you know, in the end it really worked out well and she, and she, she was a pretty amazing sleeper. We are really lucky. And of course there was bumps along the roads and lessons to be learned on everyone’s end. And, you know, it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but we were pretty happy with the way things were going and then when she was,
Amanda
and can I just stop you for a second feel like it’s such a good point that I really want to point out. I was very much the same as is you Lindsay also probably rooted in anxiety. Um, I don’t know about you, but I had like 11 different people call me to tell me how I was never gonna sleep again. And that’s literally my worst nightmare. So that’s what rooted it for me and all my research and my kids slept well cause I started really early and I think that’s a common myth that your newborn can, will never sleep. But I don’t think that’s always true. There are going to be circumstances for sure. But, um, I like that you echo that.
Lindsay
Oh, 100%. And that’s exactly what, you know, all new parents here is, you know, sleep now because you’re not going to sleep when the baby comes and just like you that terrified me and I, yeah. So I was so worried about the person I was going to become and the parent that I was going to be if I didn’t have enough sleep. Um, as well as my husband. And, and, and that really, that really scared me quite honestly. And so, and I thought, you know, there’s gotta be, there’s gotta be a better way than just like, you know, letting it all just kind of work itself out and just rolling with it. And, you know, I’m,
Amanda
I’m definitely not a rolling mythical kind of girl
Lindsay
I was just about to say that, I’m definitely like this type A personality that like, I’m not, like, I’d like to say I am, but like I am not great with rolling with it. I like a plan, I like to know what I’m doing ahead of time. And so that’s kind of, and that’s kind of what drove me down this road of, of learning so much about baby sleep and becoming really, I’d like to say passionate, but you know, my husband would probably say more obsessive about it, but that’s okay. I’m totally cool with that. And totally called being obsessed with baby sleep. And I’m sure you can appreciate that.
Amanda
I do. I mean, I would say that I’m not type A, I’m like I always tell people I’m a type B minus with Type A tendencies about certain things. Sleep for me was one of them because I just like for me, I can’t function. I really can’t and still to this day if I have one bad night of sleep the next day, I’m just, I’m, I’m not a human that anyone should be around.
Lindsay
Well, and that’s it, right? It’s just, it’s so important to our health and I just couldn’t not wrap my head around the concept of being sleep deprived for months at a time. I just didn’t, I just didn’t know what that was to look like for our family and it terrified me.
Amanda
Do you think there are people who can handle sleep deprivation better than others? Because they, it obviously so many people that I meet and I meet a lot of moms in my business now are just fine with four hours of sleep.
Lindsay
Yes, I really do. I think there are lots of people out there that can definitely function with less sleep for days on end. And all the power to them. Um, and I just knew that that was not me. And um, and so yeah, like I said, although it was kind of rooted in that, that kind of area, fear, learning about it and then applying it to, you know, to our lives just really paid dividends and Ayla was a great sleeper from we are very, you never know. You never know. Is it because of the things that we did or is it because that’s just the kind of baby she was? Is it nature or nurture? But regardless, she was, she was a great sleeper as a newborn and onwards. Like I said, not perfect and you know, her, her struggle was definitely naps for awhile. The daytime sleep was really challenging for us. But for me, if we were winning at the nighttime sleep, you know, I was, I was cool with that.
Amanda
And PS disclaimer, there’s no such thing as perfect baby sleep. Like if you work with me in every single one of my sleep plans, I write: baby sleep is not perfect. You are never going to have a baby that sleeps 12 hours during the night and three hours during the day, beautifully everyday for the rest of their life. If you do, you may have a robot and you should just check.
Lindsay
Yeah, just, yeah. And that would be coming from someone who’s read a lot of books and guides. That’s my piece of advice cause I’m, I’m by, I’m by no means a sleep expert. I just have read a lot and tried a lot of things. But um, you know, I think sometimes you can fall into that trap, especially if if you’re already a little bit anxious because you know that post partum anxiety is real. And if you fall into that trap of reading books and reading schedules and thinking that if your baby is not sleeping, you know, to a T to that schedule that you’re failing, you know, you that is going to, to eat at you and get to you. So, you know, I always say to people, if I ever suggest, you know, you know, I’ve read some good books, I’ve read some good guides and if I ever suggest them to anyone, I always always say, take all of it with a grain of salt. Take what you like from them and leave the rest.
Amanda
I uh, I mean even with me, I always tell my moms, look, if anything I’m telling you is stressing you out, talk to me cause I don’t want to stress you though. And that’s especially true of my newborn programming and groups where it’s like, here are some suggestions to make this thing happen. But look, it might not happen and I’m okay with that. But if you are stressed about it happening, then you should give it up because we’re going to put some bad juju the air and it’ll never happen.
Lindsay
Exactly. Exactly.
Amanda
So you were, um, uh, like, uh, an amateur sleep expert. You’re loving sleep and then you decide to do something totally banana pants.
Lindsay
Yeah, absolutely. So my, um, my husband decided that when Ayla was four months old, he was going to take some paternity leave. So he was going to go off, I was off on maternity leave for a year and he was going to take paternity leave for three months. And um, and so that was his first suggestion, which I thought, oh, that sounds really interesting and great. And then he said, but like, let’s take a trip. And I said, okay, we’ll take a trip. Like that also sounds fun, but he said, no, like, let’s take like a long trip. I said, okay. And um, you know, this was an idea that we sussed out over a fairly short period of time, like probably a week or so. And in the end we decided to pack up our house and rent out, rent it out on Airbnb, and we traveled to Europe and we went away for, we were in Europe for two months and then we came home, um, for that third month, but our home was still rented out, so we stayed with family and we went to our cottage and things like that. But, but the biggest part of it was, was Europe for two months. So we stayed in, we lived in Spain for a month, which was incredible. And we lived in Italy and France and Amsterdam. And it was, it was an incredible trip and you know, the trip of a lifetime. And as we were planning this, I could see like how incredible that this would be and what an incredible experience it would be. But I was absolutely terrified of everything that it can possibly do to Ayla’s sleep and all of these amazing habits that we had worked really hard to instill in her in such a young age. So we are travelling between the, when she was between the ages of four months and six months. So we, we went there when she was four and flew back from her when she was six. And um, I had to, I had a lot of sleepless nights for sure during that time that we had decided to go between the time of deciding to go and then actually leaving because I was so scared of like, what if she forgets everything that she’s learned? How are we going to deal with all of these moving parts? How are, I mean, one of the biggest things I was most of was just getting her, um, from Canada to Europe quite honestly. And on the plane. And what if she didn’t sleep on the plane? And what if we kept everyone up and, you know, I was absolutely terrified.
Amanda
Yeah. I mean, I’m still, I’ll be honest, we’ve traveled a bunch with our kids. We have not gone to Europe. We’ve max like when they babies, we flew for maybe two hours, three hours at the most. Um, I am terrified, would be terrified now to draw with my kids to Europe so tell me how did the flight go?
Lindsay
Yeah. You know what? We were so lucky because I mean, first of all, she was so young at that point that you still, um, I think it’s maybe easier to soothe them to sleep in, you know, then she’s 16 months old now. Like I just don’t think it would be quite the same, but it was an overnight flight and we tried to, we tried to replicate her nighttime routine in the airport. Like it was, I mean, there’s, that’s sounding so ridiculous now. As I say it a year later, but um, we did, we’re like, let’s go through all the things that we do at home, but you know, in this public airport, I’m sure it’ll be fine
Amanda
With all of their alien autopsy lights.
Lindsay
Yeah. She, that he is going to fall right asleep. No problem with doing all the things. We read her that story and she had a bottle like for sure. Anyway,
Amanda
I love it.
Lindsay
So we did that in the airport. Um, I don’t know if you’re surprised by this, but she did not fall asleep and we caught onto the plane and by that point she was, uh, we were, we were very happy that she was taking a soother. Um, she did it, she gave that up by six months unfortunately. But, uh, we were happy to have something that soothed her and that she enjoyed. So we kind of gave her the soother on the plane and just kind of the, I think just like the humming of the plane and the low lights because it was an overnight flight. She actually fell asleep, sleep quite quickly. So, and there she stayed. The first leg of that trip I think was eight hours and she slept on me for eight hours. We brought this travel. I source this like travel bassinet because again, I was so anxious about this light and uh, we put it at our feet, we bought the bulkhead seats, we paid extra money for these seats so that we could put the travel bassinet at our feet. But I was so, she fell asleep in my arms and I was so scared to transfer her and wake her that I let her sleep on me for eight hours. I did not move. I did not get up. I did not go pee
Amanda
You didnt pee? Oh my God, you’re… wow. This is goals.
Lindsay
Well, I was just so happy that she was sleeping and so scared that she would wake up, that I just, I did it out of fear. I’m pretty sure it was very uncomfortable, but you know, she did it. So we landed in England and she, she woke up when we landed, which was totally fine. And any way. So we got through the rest of the flight and it was, it was totally fine and all my, that was like my worst fear and it was put to rest, which was great. And then, you know, then we had to deal with the fact that there was massive time change, that we were sleeping in like a foreign location. Uh, what we did was we traveled with, um, with a travel crib. We use the baby Bjorn travel crib because it was easy. It was easy to travel with, it has a great mattress in it and she had slept in it before, so we knew that she was familiar with it. And now, no matter where we were in, no matter what location we were in, we knew that she had a familiar bed to sleep in. And we knew that no matter where we were, she was always going to be sleeping in the same place, maybe smelled the same and felt the same. And, and we really hope that that gave her some comfort. Again, like when I look back on this experience a year later, I think I would say, you know, your, your baby will likely adapt to no matter what crib you put them in then that would be my guess personally. But um, regardless, we were still really happy about that decision to bring the travel crib.
Amanda
Oh. And I also think like even going back to your plane story, I advise clients all the time, like sometimes you know, you can’t control everything you’re getting on a plane and it may be a shit show and that’s just the long and short of it that it might be crazy and you got lucky, but there are some families that arent but they will be okay. They will be totally okay.
Lindsay
They will. And you know, we took like something like eight or 10 flights or something over the course of that trip. And let me tell you, we had those shit show flights like those happened. Those were real. But you know, there was a piece of advice that a friend gave me before we left on this trip and it was, you will never see those people again in your life. And I always tried to remember that and I always try to pass that onto other people traveling with their baby. Even if your kid’s screems the whole time, you’ll never see those people again.
Amanda
Do you know what? It’s really funny, but you saying that I literally just watched a sketch comedy show with my husband and the whole point of the sketch was that, um, oh, I think it’s on Netflix. I can’t remember what it’s called. Anyway, I think it’s, thank God you’re here. Maybe I’m imagining that. Anyway, I’ll come back to it. Um, but this show, the concept was that this guy was sitting next to this like weirdo on the plane and he’s like, do you remember me from 25 years ago? I’m coming back to scream in your face for the rest of this flight. So, you know, could be you.
Lindsay
That’s true. But like, hopefully it’ll happen to like Ayla and not us. You know, she;ll have to encounter the uncomfortable situation but like we’ll stay out of it.
Amanda
Right. Pretty funny. Okay. So go on.
Lindsay
Okay. So I mean our next, in terms of like sleep challenges, our next big thing was the time change. And what I like to say about that, because um, we’ve talked to a lot of parents who have, who are going to be traveling with their baby and they’re feeling a little nervous about it. And I would say time change is the question that comes up the most for us. And what I say to that is for us, time change was harder on Dave and I than it was for Ayla. And the reason I think is because baby’s nap and you can manipulate those naps to adjust them to this new time change. So if you need them to go to bed earlier, you know, remove a nap or shorten a nap, wake them or if you need them to go to bed later, give them an extra nap. So, you know, helping your baby, adjust to time change I would, I would suggest is easier than an adult. Adjusting the time change and, and a, and what we had to do was, um, her bedtime, she would go to bed at seven usually. And you know, as we adjusted to European time, she, you know, she was going to bed a little bit later. Like I think the first, well the first night we all went to bed at 11, we tried putting her down at nine and she slept for two hours and then like woke up and was ready to party for a bit. So you know, the first night it was 11 and then they sleep, she slept in longer. You know, I think she woke up at like 10 or 11 in the morning and then the next night, you know, it was nine and we slowly inched it back until she was going to bed at seven again. And that worked really well for us, especially because we were there for such a long time. So it was important that we adapted to the new time change. But then, you know, later, this is a separate trip, but like later in the year we just went to Mexico for a week and it’s like an hour time change. It’s not that long of a trip. And we just kept her on home time. So that’s like another option depending on where you’re traveling to and how long you’re going for.
Amanda
Yeah. And I always tell clients your baby will adjust so much easier than you will always.
Lindsay
Absolutely.
Amanda
And then my friend come to visit me with her six month olds when we lived in Australia and I was completely dumb to babies then, but this six month old just came live, live and slept and napped and slept through the night there. It was like crazy. They just do so well.
Lindsay
Yeah, there’s, they really adapt so well and they’re so resilient. And for me, because as we’ve mentioned, I’m that type A, planner, like to have everything in control, um, you know, I’ve, I’ve relinquished a lot of that control just becoming a mother, which I’m sure a lot of moms can relate to. And, and this trip was a big part of that for me. It showed me how resilient my baby was and you know how it was okay for me to sort of let go of some of that control and um, and know that like she wasn’t going to forget everything that she’s learned and it wasn’t all going to go with the window. And you know, even if they have like little setbacks, you know, they’ll bounce back, they’ll come back to it. And, and this trip was a big learning experience for that.
Amanda
Yeah. And I think sleep training for a lot of moms is like that actually. Um, I, I feel like a lot of parents hire me because they want me to control the situation or help them control the situation. And I’m like, I am here to help you manage this situation. We’re never going to be able to control this person because they’re a person, they’re whole, their whole being. Um, so, okay. So while you were in, um, your new locations, talk to me a little bit about, you know, what you did. I know Kim was telling me, I just have this stuck in my head. Just like “they travelled with garbage bags.” You have some tips and tricks. I’d love your, your top tips when you were bopping around
Lindsay
For sure. Yeah, we definitely had some, some we definitely have some tips and tricks, tricks that we pass on to other people who are about to travel and one of them is yes, travel with garbage bags because you have no idea what your accommodations are going to look like, how bright the rooms are going to be. Are there going to be curtains and you don’t want your baby waking you up at 5:00 AM with the sunrise because you don’t have any blinds. So we traveled with garbage bags and duct tape. We just always made sure that those fit in the luggage and didn’t put us over weight. And uh, we also had, I think we had one or two sets of um, you can go on Amazon and just buy, these were really inexpensive paper black stick-on blinds.
Amanda
I send them to everyone when we start working together.
Lindsay
They’re amazing. We have, we still have them up in Ayla’s room. Um, she has another set of blinds. I just obviously like to double blind her room. So we travelled with those as well. So that’s our first tip is always trouble with something you can black out windows with if you need to. And we used them on more than one occasion and we also traveled with this sound machine, not only one sound machine, but we traveled with two because we were having, um, both sets of our parents were coming to visit us when we were living in Spain. And at that point Ayla was still waking, um, once the night to feed. And I was very self conscious of the fact that like they were coming for a vacation and my baby was going to cry in the middle of the night and I really didn’t want them to, we didn’t want her to wake them up or I wanted them to be able to sleep in if we were up doing our thing. So we traveled with two sound machines, which was amazing. And, and we know the other reason. And so of course before we left, Ayla was used to sleeping to white noise. So that was the main reason we had it for her. But you know, there, you know, the other main reason we say to do that is because when we got to Spain, we loved our accommodations and they were amazing. But, um, they were, it was an apartment above a street that was filled with restaurants and bars and the nightlife there is much, I find it a lot different, like, like people don’t even eat, start eating dinner until eight, nine o’clock at night. So, you know, things, the nightlife there is, it’s long and extended and it doesn’t have to be clubs. It’s just like restaurants. And because you’re in Europe, a lot of people are eating outside and it’s, you know, it’s really lively and it was loud. And so if we didn’t have that sound machine, it would have really prevented, I think, everyone in the apartment from sleeping. So, uh, we always suggest doing that. And again, you can get them really inexpensively on Amazon. Um, uh, never, no affiliation with Amazon and just really love it.
Amanda
I am an Amazon affiliate and you can go on my, my favorite stage and you can buy them. Thank you!
Lindsay
And um, the other thing, we traveled, well, I said the travel crib and then we, uh, introduced like a Stuffy to Ayla before we left on this trip like several weeks before. And we always had that with us so that hopefully she associated that with sleep again, no matter where we are, no matter what the location was, no matter you know, what the, her room looked like. We tried to have a lot of things that were consistent for her so that she would associate those things with sleep because we knew that our location in our environment would be changing all the time.
Speaker 2
And disclaimer, disclaimer, and I have to do these things for safe sleep purposes. The AAP recommends nothing in the crib until after 10 months of age. But obviously these things are all personal choices. I’m a judgment free zone. I just always have to, like, people always ask me about swaddling as to be like, you can’t swaddle as soon as they’re moving. And they’re like, but they’re moving right now. And I’m like, you have to stop swaddling.
I forgot. I forgot that people get nervous about Stuffy’s. So, um, yes. Excellent disclaimer. I am. And it’s actually shocking that I like wasn’t an anxious wreck about them, but I just wasn’t, I guess you kind of get to know your baby and you know, but to be fair, Ayla had rd. Um, she, this was another case, this was another reason for anxiety for me. We had already booked the trip and then a right before she started to roll and we, unswaddled her. And that was like another thing that we had to get around in terms of her sleep because that was, you know, another hiccup in the road when she had to learn how to sleep unswaddled.
Amanda
So yes, I mean it’s just, I mean, all of these things are personal decisions and you know your baby, that’s just a recommendation. So, um, you know, people do things,
Lindsay
Oh, I totally get it. I remember when I first learned that not everyone swaddled their baby and I was like quiet. But of course not all babies need or want to be swaddled.
Amanda
Well, even in my, um, even in my, uh, uh, my newborn course , I tell people what the recommendations are and then there’s lots of information on the other side about that. Like it really has to be a personal decision in the end, about all of these things.
Lindsay
Oh absolutely. And I think, you know, in the end when you get there, I think most of it is just complete survival. You know, is your, you figure out that your baby sleeps really well when they’re swaddled and very poorly when they’re not, then you’re probably going to swaddle is my guess.
Amanda
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Until there’s, until they are moving, I mean it is, it gets kind of into the danger zone when they are rolling, that would be a true recommendation. I mean, swaddling is, you know, not okay because people do crazy things like triple swaddle their kids or swaddle them in like 18 layers of clothes and then put them on their bellies. I mean these are all things that are probably common sense not to do, but they’re the reason why people suggest not just swaddle.
Lindsay
So why all warnings exist.
Amanda
Exactly. It’s like who recommends that women shouldn’t drink, period or ever. Cause there’s always a chance they could be pregnant.
Lindsay
No, exactly. Exactly. Or like the pregnancy specific teas that say don’t drink when pregnant.
Amanda
Yes.
Lindsay
I mean all of these things are, you basically can’t do anything when you’re pregnant by the way.
Amanda
No. You just have to sit there and then it may be comes out. Exactly. Exactly. Immensely.
Speaker 2
Yeah. I do recall when she started to roll gluing my eyes to the monitor and like she and I can see this was earning to move and, and I knew in my head like it was time to unswaddle. Like I could tell cause she just, the movement was increasing day by day and she slipped and I lost my mind and ran into that room and unswaddled. And anyway, that was the day that swaddling was over for us.
Amanda
Yeah. And I will, it’s, I would also just see, I get a lot of questions about this, um, about rolling. If your child can roll on their stomach on their own, it’s safe for them to be there so if your baby is happy being there. Um, you don’t have to do anything about it and always as always talk to your doctor about it. But most doctors would agree if your baby has rolled on their tummy, it’s okay for them to be there.
Lindsay
Right. You know, and it was just tricky for us because we were, I was already freaking out about this trip and all of these things that I was going to have to consider about Ayla’s sleep as we were heading across the ocean. And then she, you know, rolled and we had to unswaddle her and that was a learning curve for her too. She had to learn how to sleep without being tightly tucked in and arms and arms, all you know, in and snug and warm. And you know that through a hiccup in our, in our sleep routine for a few nights, but it was faster. She learned a lot faster than I could have imagined. So I, if they’re a mom going through that right now, I, it’ll, it’ll be over before you know it.
Amanda
Yeah, it’s true. And I, I also, so just coming back to, um, your, your travel here and I think what I’m hearing in the theme of this is like, we started off this trip, or you started off this trip feeling like you can control every aspect towards, do you think that this was like, I guess what was your biggest lesson from the trip in regards, I guess about parenting and even just about sleep in general?
Lindsay
Yeah, I think, you know, like I said, I think my biggest lesson personally was, uh, especially as a first time mom was just how resilient your baby can be and how much they can handle and you know how they’re still going to be okay. And, and they’re not going to forget everything that you’ve instilled in them so far in terms of their sleep habits. But you know, in general too, she just showed so much resilience in that trip. And, and I think for me it was, it really taught me so much about parenting and, and it really allowed me and gave me permission to sort of breathe and let go of some of that, that postpartum anxiety that I experienced as a new mom. And it was a really important part of my healing I think. And, um, and you know, as that trip went on, we were so fortunate that it was kind of a lengthy trip. As that trip went on, I was able to relax more and more. And, you know, we really, because, you know, a big thing about it was we, we wanted to respect her needs and her routine as much as we could, but at the same time, this was the trip of a lifetime and we really wanted to make sure that we were experiencing everything that we could while we were there. So we had to find this balance between, you know, maintaining her routine and having her sleep in, uh, whatever home, whatever we are calling home at that time, uh, and sticking to her schedule, but also some days, you know, relaxing a little bit. And she would have a nap on the go because we want to travel to another city or we want to go and do a day trip somewhere, experience some things. So that was really important. And, and because I’m, because I’ve learned so much about that kind of thing for myself and my own parenting, it’s always something that I pass on to other parents who are thinking of travelling with their little one is to just really find that balance, you know, make sure you’re respecting their needs and their routine because honestly, if, if, and cause this did happen to us from time to time, sometimes you can’t control situations and your baby gets over tired because they can’t get the sleep that they need. And you know, that might knock you out for a day or two because everyone’s really grumpy and everyone’s exhausted. And so that affects your travel too. So that’s where that balance is so important because, um, you want to make sure that you’re having a great trip and experiencing everything. But if you go too far on that side, then you know your trip’s going to take a turn for the worst because you’re going to have a really over tired and cranky baby.
Amanda
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I would say I always, I always kind of joke like, your baby will not blow up if they miss a nap. Is it ideal? No. But you know, you can’t live your life stuck in your house in nap jail. Like it’s just not going to happen. Um, and I think that there’s a lot of pressure, right? Like there are consultants and books and sleep things. It’s like, well, do you prioritize this or do you prioritize your baby’s sleep and what your, your baby actually needs is, um, a well rounded parent, right? Like parents who is enjoying their life and their baby cause they go out and they socialise, but then they aim for things at home as well. Right? Like there, there has to be a balance. You can’t, like if you’re just prioritizing sleep, other things are falling apart and that might be your social life. It might be your, like your, your personal sanity. Um, it’s not, it’s not sustainable. And exactly like you said, you’re such a great example shit happens and they rebound.
Lindsay
Absolutely. And you know, our biggest, one of the biggest examples of that was on this trip, and this is, and this will happen if you’re travelling, things will happen that are out of your control and that you did not even consider going on. And you know, one of the things that happened, this wasn’t until our flight home, we were trying to get home and uh, ahh, we boarded a plane twice, then eventually got canceled. Um, and we had to, we had an entire flight of like 250 people having to be put up in hotels in England. And you know, the airline was trying to organize everything and it took us hours. It took us hours to get everything organized, figure out what’s going on, get to this hotel and, and Ayla was awake through the whole thing. Of course, you try to lull them to sleep. She was in the carrier a lot, but, and she just didn’t sleep. And she went to bed eventually at maybe 11 o’clock at night. And I, and she had never been awake that long ever. It was like, I don’t think she napped. She didn’t go to bed till 11 it was insane. And I just kept like, I think I kept waiting, like you said, for something to like blow up, like something to explode. Like what’s going to happen? Like my can’t believe my baby’s still awake. But you know what happened was absolutely nothing. She went, she went to sleep probably a little extra tired. She slept in a few extra hours and, and everyone was fine in the morning. And it was those experiences that personally as a parent, I had to go through and, and I would say to any new parent who is experiencing this kind of, this want and this need to control your baby’s sleep. And, and I like your word manage because that’s really all we can do, but it, but if you are feeling those things, all I can say is experience will bring you out the other side. And those situations that you can’t control and that maybe you’re not hoping for, didn’t even anticipate, but you know the will happen and then you’re going to get through them and you’re going to realise that everything’s fine. Those are the things that are going to bring you through and realise and help you realise that you know that no one’s going to die.
Amanda
Yeah. I love that. I love that. And you know, you raise a really good point that, um, this is particularly true with newborns, but also for older babies that, you know, you saying like, look, you don’t know that your baby can do it until they can do it. But it’s also like, um, oh those, you are going to do those things sometimes and they’re going to be awful, right? Like you’re gonna miss a nap and you could have a baby who’s screaming for that five hours. That is just part of our life. And it’s not going to be your every day, right? Like, it’s not going to be something that happens every day, but like, or you know, people ask me all the time, um, I want to do a nap on the go but my baby won’t nap. And I’m like, well, they’re not napping yet. You need to keep trying that thing if that’s going to be a part of your life, if that’s something that’s important to you, it needs to be something that you continue to try over and over again. Especially if it’s important to you. Like we did dinner parties all the time with friends. We’d pack up our kid, do the routine, um, at our friend’s house, put her down, have our dinner and then like go home to around 10, and you know, out of 10 times, maybe two or three of those times, our daughter was like, no way, I’m not doing it. If we had to leave and that sucked, but then the next time she was fine. It doesn’t mean if your baby doesn’t do it one time, they won’t do it eventually.
Lindsay
Right. And I would imagine that a lot of people’s fear about that is just like you said, just because they’ve never seen their baby do it. I think they’re probably fearful that I don’t know if they can. And so I don’t want to try and I just, I love that idea of, well, you might have to try a few times if this is what you want to prioritize
Amanda
And don’t label your baby! The amount of people who call me in or like I have the worst baby you’ve ever. No, you don’t. I promise you they’re just tired.
Lindsay
Yeah. And learning and, and you know that the other thing I’ll just say about traveling with your little one and, and coming across those situations that maybe weren’t anticipating and maybe aren’t ideal is that’s the other important part I think, of finding that balance, uh, between the routine and doing, you know, all the things that you want to experience while you’re away. But because I think we had maintained a decent routine with her, um, within reason and she was fairly well rested overall. We hit that crazy day where she was awake for an absurd number of hours and, and she, she was still okay because yes, because we respected her needs, you know, 90% of the time.
Amanda
Yes. I love that. I love that. And I feel like that’s a perfect way to end this because you know, the more well rested your child is in general, you can be that cool mom. And I always kind of joke and um, I so I have an analogy that I like to tell my clients who are kind of worried because I do believe that if you do have a lot of anxiety and wanting to control the situation, which is so common by the way, so, so common. I like to tell my clients to project my friend Anne so is so cool, calm and collected all the time. Nothing phases her. Like some things phase her, but it’s oh, they skipped their nap today. And for me it’d be like “THEY SKIPPED THEIR NAP, I dont know how the rest of the day it’s going to go, when’s the next nap, I have to go home.” But like channel Anne in those moments channel Anne because like there’s, there is nothing that you can do to control it. And if your kid is generally doing well, there are probably going to be just fine.
Yeah. Anne sounds amazing, we all want to be Anne
Amanda
I do, she has a really good sense of style as well. Well Lindsay, thank you so, so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad that I got you on the podcast and that we could do this in our pyjamas legitimately without it being weird.
Lindsay
It was the best possible setup for sure. Thank you so much for having me. It’s, it’s, it’s a lot of fun. Yeah. For me to come on and, and talk about that experience. One because we love to inspire families who are terrified to travel with their babies. That too. And to do it because you absolutely can. And, and uh, and it’s so worth it. You just have to build up a little bit of courage, but two, because I know how many moms and dads maybe, but mostly moms probably are out there and so anxious about their baby’s sleep and just to tell my story and to help them know that like you’re not alone and you know all of these crazy experiences that are going to happen to you, particularly over that first year of life, they’re going to help you come out that other side.
Amanda
Totally. And Lindsey, you are a holistic nutritionist in the making. Um, and you have a great blog. And so, um, are you okay if I share some of your blogs that you sent to me in our episode notes for our listeners?
Speaker 2
Yes, absolutely. Please do. Um, I don’t, I’m also a full time teacher by day, so and, and a mom. So I don’t always get to blog as much as I like to, but it’s definitely a passion project and you know, I try to get something up there whenever, whenever something kind of comes onto my heart.
Amanda
That’s great. Well, I’m definitely gonna share your, um, your Trip to Europe blog, which is a great read, and will supplement all of the things that we talked about. Um, and if people want to find you, they’ll head on over to your site.
Lindsay
That sounds great.
Amanda
Awesome. Thank you so much for joining me. Have a great sleep, everybody. I hope you found this helpful. Um, and stay tuned for more partying. See you later!